Divorce and dissolution isn’t just a legal process — it’s an emotional one, too. Regardless of the reasons you and your spouse parted ways, it’s not uncommon to feel some guilt or regret once the judge has signed the divorce decree. Terminating a marriage brings many changes to a person’s life and it can often take some time for you to adjust. Here are some tips on dealing with divorce regret so you can move forward to the next chapter in your life:
Put Your Divorce into Perspective
Sometimes, a person might second guess decisions and regret terminating the marriage after the process has been completed. Others might dwell on negative thoughts about what they think they could have done differently in the marriage. It can be beneficial to put your divorce or dissolution into perspective and remember that your decision was not made lightly. By removing yourself from an unhealthy marriage, you took control of your happiness, your future, and your children’s well-being. Try to keep your focus on building positive relationships and your new life, rather than dwell on the past.
Know That Grieving is Normal
Grief is a normal reaction to the end of a marriage, just as a person grieves the loss of a person. Divorce and dissolution can come with a wide range of emotions, sometimes known as divorce regret. Even if you wanted the divorce or the split was amicable, the loss of your marriage can be traumatic. It’s essential to understand that grieving after the marriage or relationship terminates is an ongoing process. It can take months or even a few years to work your way through the emotions and the changes divorce can bring.
Make Sure You Put Your Children First
Divorce isn’t only stressful for the spouses. Often, divorce regret can arise because you know that parting ways with your spouse can also be emotionally difficult for children. Children pick up on their parents’ emotions, and it’s vital to make sure you put them first. You should never speak badly to the children about the other parent, make them the go-between, or allow them to witness any arguments you might have with your former spouse. Keep in mind, your children love both of their parents and want to foster a relationship with each of you.
Focus on Healthy Co-Parenting
If you share children with your former spouse, your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse is critical. It’s imperative to set aside any contentiousness or negative feelings you might have toward your former spouse for the benefit of your children. You don’t have to beco-parenting friends with your former spouse— you can think of your new partnership as a business relationship, conducting the most important business there is – raising healthy children to adulthood. Have a good parenting plan in place, observe boundaries, and keep the best interests of your children at the forefront.
Maintain Relationships with Your In-Laws
When you part ways with your spouse, it doesn’t only mean losing the marital relationship. It also changes your relationship with your in-laws. If you had a close bond with your in-laws during your marriage, try to maintain amiability with them. This can be particularly important if you had children — you might arrange visits for your children, keep your former in-laws up to date about your children’s lives, and invite them to school events.
Be Careful About Your Spending
After a divorce, you may need to make some financial adjustments. Since you no longer have two incomes, you might need to create a new budget. Be careful about overspending. It’s not uncommon for people to deal with divorce regret by spending big on vacations, luxury items, and other unnecessary expenses. Making poor financial decisions following divorce can lead to incurring substantial debt and other problems.
Take Time Out for Yourself
It’s crucial to make selfcare a priority after divorce, whether it means getting a facial, participating in a hobby, or meditating. No matter how busy you are with work and family, taking just a few minutes out for yourself each day can help you feel less stressed and more balanced. Selfcare can help to improve your health and ensure you are the best co-parent you can be.
Seek the Support You Need
The myriad of emotions you might be experiencing after terminating a marriage, whether divorce or dissolution, is normal, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t difficult. If you are experiencing divorce regret or need emotional support, you may consider counseling or seek a support group. Speaking with a therapist or others who have gone through a similar experience can be helpful to process your emotions. You might also think about reaching out to supportive friends and family, participating in community groups, or learning a new hobby.
Contact a Knowledgeable Ohio Divorce Attorney
If you are considering dissolution or divorce, or separating after a long cohabitation, it’s essential to have an experienced attorney who can help you navigate the legal process and the potential divorce regret. Located in Green, Ohio, Melissa Graham-Hurd & Associates, LLC provides committed representation for a wide variety of divorce and family law matters. Contact Melissa Graham-Hurd and Associates to schedule a consultation to learn how we can help.
